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Notes from the Underground

; 1st World Library (Redaktør) ; 1stworld Library (Redaktør)

Purchase one of 1st World Library's Classic Books and help support our
free internet library of downloadable eBooks. I am a sick man and a spiteful
man. I am an unattractive man. I believe my liver is diseased. Les mer
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Purchase one of 1st World Library's Classic Books and help support our
free internet library of downloadable eBooks. I am a sick man and a spiteful
man. I am an unattractive man. I believe my liver is diseased. However, I know
nothing at all about my disease, and do not know for certain what ails me. I
don't consult a doctor for it, and never have, though I have a respect for
medicine and doctors. Besides, I am extremely superstitious, sufficiently so to
respect medicine, anyway (I am well-educated enough not to be superstitious,
but I am superstitious). No, I refuse to consult a doctor from spite. That you
probably will not understand. Well, I understand it, though. Of course, I can't
explain who it is precisely that I am mortifying in this case by my spite: I am
perfectly well aware that I cannot "pay out" the doctors by not consulting
them; I know better than anyone that by all this, I am only injuring myself and
no one else. But still, if I don't consult a doctor it is from spite. My liver
is bad, well - let it get worse! I have been going on like that for a long time
- twenty years. Now I am forty. I used to be in the government service, but am
no longer.

I was a spiteful official. I was rude and took pleasure in
being so. I did not take bribes, you see, so I was bound to find recompense in
that, at least. (A poor jest, but I will not scratch it out. I wrote it
thinking it would sound very witty; but now that I have seen myself that I only
wanted to show off in a despicable way, I will not scratch it out on
purpose!)

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